religious self-denial

2023-04-02T19:35:26Z

Someone else's post today got me thinking...

I've identified as an atheist from I dunno, age 7? I have this early memory of screwing up my courage to ask my parents, because I thought they were wishy-washy "believe in something" liberals and it's scary to disagree with your parents when you're that young. I also have memories of simultaneously not believing in God, acting like an animist (apologizing to doors if I ran into them, mercy-killing my breakfast sausage by biting off both ends quickly before slowly flaying it), and praying to not-Zeus when home alone during thunderstorms ("if you're going to strike my house, please wait until my parents get home".) [Edit: I may have prayed to "to whom it may concern", with Zeus as the prototype in my mind. Mostly a "I don't really believe but I'm f-ing scared and will try anything" prayer.]

But I've almost never felt a need to deny myself. Only one memory: 7th or 8th grade (so ages 12-14) on the school bus. I got asked what my religion was, and I chickened out (I do not recall what I was afraid of) and said "agnostic".

"What's an agnostic?" said Kid 1.

"Someone who lacks the courage to say they're an atheist", said Kid 2. (I think he did say "lacks the courage" though this is a very old memory.)

Now that's not true for many agnostics[1]. But it was 100% true of me, right then, and I felt the total shame of being called out. I didn't speak up further then, but did vow "never again".

Of course, it's been easy to keep that vow. Chicago, Caltech, San Francisco, IU Bloomington, Cambridge MA... Hanging around Techers and academics... In a lot of my social life you could assume Christians were the actual minority. I haven't had to live in the South or travel to Saudi Arabia, or decide whether I wanted to pretend to be Unitarian or Jewish as a cover.

[1] And there is a genuine "wrestling with belief" agnosticism that isn't atheist. But I suspect there are a lot of agnostics whose beliefs are indistinguishable from atheists but who just don't want the 'atheist' label, whether because it feels too 'strident'[2] or they associate it with Dawkins or whatnot.

[2] "I don't know" feels less confrontational than the implicit "I think you're wrong" of "I do not believe".

comments

links: planets, gays, labor, JPL, etc.

2012-10-17T04:50:02Z

Earth-sized planet found around Alpha Centauri B. With a three-day orbital period, so kind of hot.
http://www.centauri-dreams.org/?p=25109

"Gay like me"; evangelical pretends to be gay for a year, discovers the closet sucks
http://freethoughtblogs.com/singham/2012/10/15/when-a-christian-fundamentalist-pretends-to-be-gay/

Tycoon opts for unilateral geo-engineering
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/oct/15/pacific-iron-fertilisation-geoengineering
Side note: AIUI, iron fertilization hasn't done much in past experiments. I marvel that no one's suggested it simply to boost fisheries: more algae -> more plankton -> more fish. The open oceans are nutrient deserts, AIUI.

Online "bullying" by liberals
http://offbeatempire.com/2012/10/liberal-bullying

People objected to Uzbekistan forcing children to pick cotton. The government listened; now they're forcing asthmatic doctors and nurses to pick it instead.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19931639
Mysterious kidney disease is killing sugar cane workers. Leading hypothesies are "handling nasty chemicals" and "they're working themselves to death in the heat". http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/oct/14/kidney-disease-killing-sugar-cane-workers-central-america
Sugar, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, high fructose corn syrup...

I'm sad this never passed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_Domain_Enhancement_Act

Ben Franklin, futurist: http://lists.extropy.org/pipermail/extropy-chat/2012-October/074565.html

1998 article on high levels of violence in the South: http://www.nytimes.com/1998/07/26/weekinreview/ideas-trends-southern-curse-why-america-s-murder-rate-is-so-high.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

The second Cuban missile crisis: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19930260

Atheist science-snark vs. religion: http://i.imgur.com/r3RDQ.png

JPL planetary surfaces infographic: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/infographics/infographic.view.php?id=10795
Rovers; http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/infographics/infographic.view.php?id=10889
Stellar evolution: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/infographics/infographic.view.php?id=10737
There's lots more.

The changing economics of professional chess: http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2012/10/09/wages_and_technological_change_in_chess.html

The fall of California's colleges, or the Mississippification of CA: http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Global_Economy/NJ06Dj01.html

comments

Rich and Strange Aeons

religious self-denial

links: planets, gays, labor, JPL, etc.