A modest proposal

We shouldn't have a Coast Guard, or at least not one that does rescue. People knew the risks before they got on a boat, or into the water; they should take responsibility for their decisions. Or buy rescue insurance, if they want someone to help them out of trouble. Tax dollars shouldn't be spent on bailing them out. Besides, market solutions are best -- the government is corrupt and wasteful, after all! I'm sure the Coast Guard is inefficient and overpriced.

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That was sarcasm, but with a point: I see no difference between a Coast Guard and a Health Guard, say, protecting us against illness instead of storms. (Except that most illnesses are a lot more random and uncontrollable than mucking around in a boat.)